The teacher was furious with her son. “Just because you’ve been put in my class, there’s no need to think you can take liberties. You’re a pig.” The boy said nothing. “Well! Do you know what a pig is?” “Yes, Mom,” said the boy. “The offspring of a swine.”

Who do they get for Babe the pig’s dangerous movie scenes?A stunt ham.

What kind of tie does a pig wear ? Pig’s tie !

Why do pigs never recover from illness ? Because you have to kill them before you cure them !

What do you get when you cross a pig with a billy goat? A crashing bore.

What did the pig call a manuscript? A shoat story.

What do you get if you cross pigs with a lot of grapes ? A swine gut !

Why did the pig send his story to New York? He wanted to be published on Pork Avenue.

What famous pig actor made a movie about Frankenswine? Boaris Karloff.

What did the pig say when he found a line of ants in his trough? “Mmm. Canapes.”

What are the pigs warned to look out for in New York? Pigpockets.

Why was the pig happy when reviewers criticized his story? Because they called it garbage.