Would you like to buy a second-hand computer?I’m afraid not. I’m only able to type with one hand as it is.
One of Microsoft’s finest technicans was drafted and sent to boot camp. At the rifle range, he was given some instruction, a rifle, and bullets. He fired several shots at the target. The report came from the target area that all attempts had completely missed the target.The technician looked at his rifle, and then at […]
Jesus and Satan got into an argument over which of them was the better computer programmer. Finally God got tired of the bickering and told them that he would judge a contest between them. They each had four hours to write the best program they could, and then God would decide the winner.Well, they both […]
There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer.When asked to define “great” he said, “I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in […]
Customer: “I’ve been doing risk analysis by hand for five years, and we finally got your program so we could do it automatically — but there’s a bug in it. The answers come out differently each time.” Tech Support: “Sir, are you aware that our program uses Monte-Carlo analysis?” Customer: “Of course I am. That’s […]
Q: What algorithm did Intel use in the Pentium’s floating point divider? A: “Life is like a box of chocolates…” (Source: F. Gump of Intel)
Why do programmers always get Christmas and Halloween mixed up?Because DEC 25 = OCT 31
“Do you turn on your computer with your left hand or your right hand?”” My right hand.”” Amazing!Most people have to use the on/off switch.”
A customer was asked to send a copy of her defective diskettes to the technician. A few days later a letter arrived from the customer along with Xeroxed copies of her diskettes.
What did Bill Gate’s wife say to him on their wedding night?No wonder you called the company Microsoft
