There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer.When asked to define “great” he said, “I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in […]

Customer: “I’ve been doing risk analysis by hand for five years, and we finally got your program so we could do it automatically — but there’s a bug in it. The answers come out differently each time.” Tech Support: “Sir, are you aware that our program uses Monte-Carlo analysis?” Customer: “Of course I am. That’s […]

Q: What algorithm did Intel use in the Pentium’s floating point divider? A: “Life is like a box of chocolates…” (Source: F. Gump of Intel)

Why do programmers always get Christmas and Halloween mixed up?Because DEC 25 = OCT 31

“Do you turn on your computer with your left hand or your right hand?”” My right hand.”” Amazing!Most people have to use the on/off switch.”

What do computer experts do at weekends?Go for a disk drive.

Why did the computer act crazy?It had a screw loose.

One of Microsoft’s finest technicans was drafted and sent to boot camp. At the rifle range, he was given some instruction, a rifle, and bullets. He fired several shots at the target. The report came from the target area that all attempts had completely missed the target.The technician looked at his rifle, and then at […]

Jesus and Satan got into an argument over which of them was the better computer programmer. Finally God got tired of the bickering and told them that he would judge a contest between them. They each had four hours to write the best program they could, and then God would decide the winner.Well, they both […]

Dear Boss,I hope I haven’t misunderstood your instructions. Because to be honest, boss, none of this Y to K dates problem makes any sense to me.At any rate I have finished converting all the months on all the company calendars so that the year 2000 is ready to go with the following improved months: Januark, […]

Customer: “Wait, that password looks really gray. I’m going to type it in again.”

Q: Why didn’t Intel call the Pentium the 586?A: Because they added 486 and 100 on the first Pentium and got 585.999983605.