A Software Engineer, a Hardware Engineer and a Branch Manager were on their way to a meeting. They were driving down a steep mountain road when suddenly the brakes on their car failed. The car careened almost out of control down the road, bouncing off the crash barriers, until it miraculously ground to a halt […]

Q: What’s the difference between a car salesman and a computer salesman? A: The car salesman can probably drive!

There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer.When asked to define “great” he said, “I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in […]

Customer: “Hi, I’m supposed to pack [zip] my database and send it to you. What should I pack it in?”

Q: Complete the following word analogy: Add is to Subtract as Multiply is to: 1) Divide 2) ROUND 3) RANDOM 4) On a Pentium, all of the above A: Number 4.

The attention span of a computer is as long as its electrical cord.

A confused caller was having troubles printing documents. He told the technician that the computer had said that it ”could not find the printer.” The user had even tried turning the computer screen to face the printerbut his computer still could not ‘see’ the printer.

What did the mouse say to the webcam?Cheese.

Would you like to buy a second-hand computer?I’m afraid not. I’m only able to type with one hand as it is.

One of Microsoft’s finest technicans was drafted and sent to boot camp. At the rifle range, he was given some instruction, a rifle, and bullets. He fired several shots at the target. The report came from the target area that all attempts had completely missed the target.The technician looked at his rifle, and then at […]

Jesus and Satan got into an argument over which of them was the better computer programmer. Finally God got tired of the bickering and told them that he would judge a contest between them. They each had four hours to write the best program they could, and then God would decide the winner.Well, they both […]

There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer.When asked to define “great” he said, “I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in […]