A technician received a call from a man complaining that the system wouldn’t read word processing files from his old diskettes. After trouble-shooting for magnets and heat failed to diagnose the problem, it was found that the customer labeled the diskettes then rolled them into his typewriter to type the labels.

Q: How does Bill Gates screw in a lightbulb? A: He doesn’t. He declares darkness the industry standard.

My computer made a funny sound the other day.Of course, I’ve never heard it get thrown out a window before.

A technician advised his customer to put his troubled floppy back in the drive and close the door. The customer put the disk in, asked the tech to hold on, and was heard putting the phone down, getting up and closing the door to his room.

Customer: “Why didn’t you tell me I have call waiting?” Tech Support: “Sir, we have no way of knowing if you have call waiting.” Customer: “Well, you should ask everybody!” Tech Support: “Do you have call waiting?” Customer: “What’s that?”

What do you get if you cross a constable with a computer?PC Plod.

A system programmer came home from work almost at dawn and told his wife enthusiastically: “Tonight I have installed a new release of MVS/ESA together with VM/CMS and CICS/VS”.”G.O.O.D” answered his wife.

Customer: I think I’ve got a bug in my computer.Repairman: Does your computer make a humming noise?Customer: Yes.Repairman: Then it must be a humbug!

What do you get if you cross a computer with a ballet dancer?The Netcracker suite.

Why did the duck stick his leg into a computer?He wanted to have webbed feet.

Technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse was hard to control with the dust cover on. The cover turned out to be the plastic bag the mouse was packaged in.

Q: What is the difference between Windows 95 and Windows 98? A: 3 years