Should I have a baby after 35?No, 35 children is enough.

What Do you tell a woman with two black eyes ?Nothing, you told her twice.

I haven’t spoken to my wife for 18 months! – I don’t like to interrupt her.

Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman’s sex drive by up to 90%. – It’s called wedding cake.

My wife asked me “What’s on the TV?” – I said, “Dust!”

In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God created Man and rested. Then God created Woman. – Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.

Why do men die before their wives? – They want to.

A man inserted an advertisement in the classifieds section with the heading “Wife Wanted.” – The next day he received a hundred letters saying “You can have mine.”

Why do women have smaller feet than men? – It allows them to stand closer to the sink.

How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? – She starts her sentence with “A man once told me…”

How do you fix a woman’s watch? – It doesn’t matter. There is a clock on the oven.

If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first? – The dog. He’ll shut up once you let him in.