Customer: I didn’t order this.Waiter: I know, but your meal tastes worse.

Customer: Why is this sandwich half eaten? Waiter: I didn’t have time to finish it.

Waiter: Why are you taking so long to order?Diner: I can’t decide whether I want heartburn or nausea.

Customer: I thought the meals here were supposed to be like mother used to make.Waiter: They are. She couldn’t cook either.

Diner: Could I have a glass of water?Waiter: To drink?Diner: No, I want to rinse out a few things.

Waiter, waiter! There’s a dead spider in my soup. Yes, ma’am, they can’t stand the boiling water.

Customer: That crust on the apple pie was too tough.Waiter: That wasn’t the crust, that was the pie plate.

Diner: May I please have a glass of water?Waiter: Why, are you thirsty?Diner: No, I want to see if my neck leaks.

Waiter, waiter! There’s a spider in my soup. Send for the manager! It’s no good, sir, he’s frightened of them, too.

Customer: There’s something wrong with my hot dogs.Waiter: Sorry, I’m a waiter, not a veterinarian.

Diner: Waiter, please close the window.Waiter: Why, is there a draft?Diner: Yes, it’s blown my steak off the plate three times.

Waiter, waiter! What’s this creepy crawly thing doing in my dinner?Oh, that one ? he comes here every night.