CUSTOMER: Can you make a pig cooler? WAITER: Sure, spray him with a hose.

CUSTOMER: Can you make a pig shake? WAITER: Tell him the wolf is coming.

CUSTOMER: How do you make a pig float? WAITER: Just give him an inner tube.

Waiter! Waiter! This salad is frozen solid.Yes, sir. It’s the iceberg lettuce that does it.

Waiter, this coffee tastes like dirt!Yes sir, thats because it was only ground this morning.

Waiter, there is a frog in my soup !Don’t worry sir there isn’t enough there to drown him !

Waiter, can you get rid of this fly in my starter !I can’t do that sir, he’s not had his main course yet !

Sir you haven’t touched your custard.I’m just waiting for the fly to stop using it as a trampoline !

“Waiter!” shouted the furious diner, “How dare you serve me this! There’s a damn TWIG in my soup!””My apologies,” said the waiter. “I’ll inform the branch manager.”

Waiter, my lunch is talking to me !Well you did ask for a tongue sandwich !

Waiter, there’s a fly in my soup !Yes, it’s the rotting meat that attracts them !

Waiter, are there snails on the menu !Yes sir, they must have escaped from the kitchen !