Waiter, what’s this bug doing waltzing around my table !It’s the band, sir, they are playing his tune !
Waiter, there is a maggot in my soup !Don’t worry sir, he won’t last long in there !
Waiter, there is a dead fly in my soup !No its not, it’s a piece of dirt that looks like one !
Waiter, there is a spider drowning in my soup !It hardly looks deep enough to drown in sir !
Waiter, there is a worm on my plate !That’s not a worm sir, it’s your sausage ?
Waiter, there is a fly in my wine !Well you did ask for something with a little body in it!
Waiter, there is a fly in my soup !Yes sir, thats the manager, the last customer was a witch doctor !
Waiter, my lunch is talking to me !Well you did ask for a tongue sandwich !
Waiter: Why didn’t you make all the food on that long order?Cook: Because I’m a short order cook.
Customer: How come the Board of Health hasn’t come in and closed you up?Waiter: They’re afraid to eat here.
Customer: Why don’t you eat here, waiter?Waiter: Serving it is bad enough, I don’t want to compound the felony.
Waiter: I’m sorry I spilled a glass of water on you.Diner: That’s all right. My suit is too large anyway.
