Republicans always take the price tag off expensive gifts before wrapping. Democrats also remove price tags off pricey gifts … and reposition them to make sure they are seen.
Democrats wear wide red ties and green sports jackets during the festive season. Republicans do too, all year round.
Most Republicans try, at least once, enclosing indulgent, wretchedly maudlin form letters about their families in their Christmas cards. Public ridicule from Democrats usually discourages them from doing it again.
Democrats’ favorite Christmas movie is “Miracle on 34th Street.” Republicans’ favorite Christmas movie is “It’s a Wonderful Life.” Right-Wing Republicans’ favorite Christmas movie is “Die Hard.”
Republican parents have no problem buying toy guns for their kids. Democrats refuse to do so. That is why their kids pretend to shoot each other with dolls.
Republicans spends hundreds of dollars and hours of work decorating the yard with outdoor lights and Christmas displays. Democrats save their time and money, and drive around at night to look at *other* people’s lights.
When not in stores, Republicans shop from a catalog. Democrats watch for “incredible TV offers” on late night television.
Democrats do much of their shopping at Target and Wal-Mart. So do Republicans, but they don’t admit it.
Republicans help the poor during the holidays by sending 50, one buck at a time, to panhandlers on the street.
Democrats get back at the Republicans on their Christmas list by giving them fruitcakes. Republicans re-wrap them and send them to in-laws.
Democrats let their kids open all the gifts on Christmas Eve. Republicans make their kids wait until Christmas morning.
