What did the judge say when a skunk entered the courtroom?Answer: Odor, Odor in the court!!!

How is a judge like an English teacher?They both hand out long sentences.

Before a burglary trial, the judge explained to the defendant, “You can let me try your case, or you can choose to have a jury of your peers.”The man thought for a moment. “What are peers?” he asked.”They’re people just like you your equals.””Forget it,” retorted the defendant. “I don’t want to be tried by […]

Mr. Schneider stood up in court. “As God is my judge, I do not owe myex-wife any money.”Glaring down at him, the judge replied, “He’s not. I am. You do.”

Judge to witness: “And where was the location of the accident?”Witness: “Approximately milepost 499.”Judge:: “And where is milepost 499?”Witness: “About halfway between milepost 498 and milepost 500.”

Judge: Is there any reason you could not serve as a juror in this case? Juror: I don’t want to be away from my job that long. Judge: Can’t they do without you at work? Juror: Yes, but I don’t want them to know it.

A lawyer passed on and found himself in Heaven,but not at all happy with his accommodations.He complained to St. Peter, who told him that hisonly recourse was to appeal his assignment. Thelawyer immediately advised that he intended toappeal, but was then told that he would be waitingat least three years before his appeal could beheard. […]

At night court, a man was brought in and set before the judge.The judge said, “State your name, occupation, and the charge.”The defendant said, “I’m Sparks, I’m an electrician, charged with battery.”The judge winced and said, “Bailiff! Put this man in a dry cell!”

Who is the most powerful ghoul? Judge Dread.

When is an English teacher like a judge? When she hands out long sentences.

A red-faced judge convened court after a long lunch. The first case involved a man charged with drunk driving who claimed it simply wasn’t true.”I’m as sober as you are, your honor,” the man claimed.The judge replied, “Clerk, please enter a guilty plea. The defendant is sentenced to 30 days.”

It seems that a lawyer had a little bit too much to drink and on his way home rear-ended the car in front of him. The lawyer got out of his car, walked over to the driver of the other car and said, “Boy, are you in trouble. I’m a lawyer!”The driver looked out his […]