Funny Judge jokes

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Judge jokes

What did the judge say when a …

5 Aug , 2011  

What did the judge say when a skunk entered the courtroom?Answer: Odor, Odor in the court!!!

Judge jokes

How is a judge like an English…

5 Aug , 2011  

How is a judge like an English teacher?They both hand out long sentences.

Judge jokes

A red-faced judge convened cou…

5 Aug , 2011  

A red-faced judge convened court after a long lunch. The first case involved a man charged with drunk driving who claimed it simply wasn’t true.”I’m as sober as you are, your honor,” the man claimed.The judge replied, “Clerk, please enter a guilty plea. The defendant is sentenced to 30 days.”

Judge jokes

It seems that a lawyer had a l…

5 Aug , 2011  

It seems that a lawyer had a little bit too much to drink and on his way home rear-ended the car in front of him. The lawyer got out of his car, walked over to the driver of the other car and said, “Boy, are you in trouble. I’m a lawyer!”The driver looked out his […]

Judge jokes

Before a burglary trial, the j…

5 Aug , 2011  

Before a burglary trial, the judge explained to the defendant, “You can let me try your case, or you can choose to have a jury of your peers.”The man thought for a moment. “What are peers?” he asked.”They’re people just like you your equals.””Forget it,” retorted the defendant. “I don’t want to be tried by […]

Judge jokes

Mr. Schneider stood up in cour…

5 Aug , 2011  

Mr. Schneider stood up in court. “As God is my judge, I do not owe myex-wife any money.”Glaring down at him, the judge replied, “He’s not. I am. You do.”

Judge jokes

Judge to witness: “And where w…

5 Aug , 2011  

Judge to witness: “And where was the location of the accident?”Witness: “Approximately milepost 499.”Judge:: “And where is milepost 499?”Witness: “About halfway between milepost 498 and milepost 500.”

Judge jokes

Judge: Is there any reason you…

5 Aug , 2011  

Judge: Is there any reason you could not serve as a juror in this case? Juror: I don’t want to be away from my job that long. Judge: Can’t they do without you at work? Juror: Yes, but I don’t want them to know it.

Judge jokes

A lawyer passed on and found h…

5 Aug , 2011  

A lawyer passed on and found himself in Heaven,but not at all happy with his accommodations.He complained to St. Peter, who told him that hisonly recourse was to appeal his assignment. Thelawyer immediately advised that he intended toappeal, but was then told that he would be waitingat least three years before his appeal could beheard. […]

Judge jokes

At night court, a man was brou…

5 Aug , 2011  

At night court, a man was brought in and set before the judge.The judge said, “State your name, occupation, and the charge.”The defendant said, “I’m Sparks, I’m an electrician, charged with battery.”The judge winced and said, “Bailiff! Put this man in a dry cell!”

Judge jokes

Who is the most powerful ghoul…

5 Aug , 2011  

Who is the most powerful ghoul? Judge Dread.

Judge jokes

When is an English teacher lik…

5 Aug , 2011  

When is an English teacher like a judge? When she hands out long sentences.