How do you get a ghost to lie perfectly flat? You use a spirit level.

What did the mother ghost say to the naughty baby ghost? Spook when you’re spooken to.

What is a ghost’s favorite Wild West town?Tombstone.

When do ghosts play tricks on each other? On April Ghoul’s Day

What do you call a ghost who’s always sleeping? Lazy bones.

Who said “Shiver me timbers!” on the ghost ship? The skeleton crew.

What do young ghosts write their homework in? Exorcise books.

A butler came running into his important master’s office. “Sir, sir, there’s a ghost in the corridor. What shall I do with him?” Without looking up from his work the master said, “Tell him I can’t see him.”

Ghost: Are you coming to my party? Spook: Where is it? Ghost: In the morgue – you know what they say, the morgue the merrier.

Which ghost ate too much porridge? Ghouldilocks.

Did you hear about the sick ghost? He had oooooo-ping cough.

What are pupils at ghost schools called? Ghoulboys and ghoulgirls.