A St. Louis mother telephoned the capital building over in Jefferson City and asked to speak to the game warden. After being switched from office to office, a voice finally said, “Hello.” “Are you the game warden?” she asked. “Yes.” “Finally Ah’ve got the right person!” she said. “Could yaw’l gimme some help with my […]
Fred: Do you like the dictionary I bought you for your birthday? Harry: Sure. It’s a great present but I just can’t find the words to thank you enough.
A man who forgets his wife’s birthday is certain to get something to remember her by.
Fred: I was going to buy you a handkerchief for your birthday. Betty: That was a kind thought. But why didn’t you? Fred: I couldn’t find one big enough for your nose.
Dad bought Mum a bone-china tea set for her birthday. How lovely!Yes, but he only did it so as not to have to do the washing-up. Mum’s too frightened he’ll break it!
What’s the greatest birthday present? Hard to say – but a drum takes a lot of beating.
I’ve been shopping for my wife’s birthday present. What did you get her? A bottle of expensive toilet water. It cost 20. 20! Why didn’t you come to my house – you could have had some of ours for free!
Will you come to my party on Saturday? Yes, please, What’s the address? 25 The High Street. Just push the bell with your elbow. Why with my elbow? Well, you won’t be empty-handed, will you!
I forgot my brother’s birthday last month. What did he say? Rick: Nothing, yet.
Grandma, is it exciting being 99? It certainly is! If I wasn’t 99 I’d be dead.
How old were you on your last birthday? Eight. And how old will you be on your next birthday? Ten. Oh, I don’t think that’s possible. Oh, yes it is – I’m nine today.
