McNally was taking his first plane ride, flying over the Rocky Mountains. The stewardess handed him a piece of chewing gum. “It’s to keep your ears from popping at high altitudes,” she explains. When the plane landed McNally rushed up to her. “Miss,” he said, “I’m meetin’ me wife right away. How do I get […]

Once as Laloo was coming out of airport, there was huge rush and the security guard told him, “Wait Please.” To which Laloo replied, “65 kgs,” and moved on.

As a Delta Air Lines jet was flying over Arizona on a clear day, the co-pilot was providing his passengers with a running commentary about landmarks over the PA system.”Coming up on the right, you can see the Meteor Crater, which is a major tourist attraction in northern Arizona. It was formed when a lump […]

After an overnight flight to meet my father at his latest military assignment, my mother wearily arrived at Rhein-Main Air Base in Germany with my eight siblings and me — all under age 11. Collecting our many suitcases, the ten of us entered the cramped customs area. A young customs official watched our entourage in […]

What is ideal Flight Deck complement for a modern airliner?A Captain, a Co-pilot and a dog. The dog is there to bite the captain if he tries to touch the controls, and the co-pilot is there to feed the dog.

“I’ve never flown before, said the nervous old lady to the pilot. “You will bring me down safely, won’t you?”All I can say ma’am,” said the pilot, “is that I’ve never left anyone up there yet!”

How does the captain know the aircraft is safely at the ramp?Both the engines and the co-pilot stop whining.

After the first takeoff of the fully automatic airplane, the passengers heard the soothing, reassuring voice of the pilot: “Ladies and gentlemen, this is your automatic pilot. In my modern and carefully tested sytem an error is absolutely impossible, absolutely impossible, absolutely impossible, …”

A pilot and a co-pilot were descending for a landing at an airport they had never been to before. The pilot looked out the windshield, and suddenly exclaimed to the co-pilot: “Holy cow! Look how short the runway is! I’ve never seen one that short!”The co-pilot looked out the windshield. “Wow! you’re right! That’s incredible! […]

A young guy in a two-engine fighter was flying escort for a B-52 and generally being a nuisance, acting like a hotdog, flying rolls around the lumbering old bomber. The hotdog said over the air, “Anything you can do, I can do better.”The veteran bomber pilot answered, “Try this hot-shot.”The B-52 continued its flight, straight […]

Little boy to airline pilot: “You’re a pilot?!?!? That must be exciting.” Pilot: “Not if I do it right.”

“Hello flight 56, if you hear me rock your wings..””OK TOWER, IF YOU HEAR ME ROCK THE TOWER!!”