Funny Accountant jokes

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Accountant jokes

Why do some accountants decide…

8 Jul , 2009  

Why do some accountants decide to become actuaries?They find bookkeeping too exciting.

Accountant jokes

There are three kinds of accou…

8 Jul , 2009  

There are three kinds of accountants in the world.Those who can count and those who can’t.

Accountant jokes

A businessman tells his friend…

8 Jul , 2009  

A businessman tells his friend that his company is looking for a new accountant.His friend asks, “Didn’t your company hire a new accountant a few weeks ago?”The businessman replies, “That’s the accountant we’re looking for.”

Accountant jokes

An accountant goes into a pet …

8 Jul , 2009  

An accountant goes into a pet shop to buy a parrot. The shop owner shows him three identical parrots on a perch and says, “The parrot on the left costs $500.””Why does that parrot cost so much?” asks the accountant.”Well,” replies the owner, “it knows how to do complex audits.””How much does the middle parrot […]

Accountant jokes

What do actuaries do to liven …

8 Jul , 2009  

What do actuaries do to liven up their office party?Invite an accountant.

Accountant jokes

What do you call an accountant…

8 Jul , 2009  

What do you call an accountant without a spreadsheet?Lost

Accountant jokes

A businessman hires a private …

8 Jul , 2009  

A businessman hires a private detective to find a missing accountant.The detective tells him that he needs a description and asks a few questions.”Was he tall or was he short?”The businessman replies, “Both!”

Accountant jokes

Three partners in an accountin…

8 Jul , 2009  

Three partners in an accounting firm go out to lunch. They are the audit partner, the tax partner and the senior partner. One of them sees a brass lamp lying in the gutter. Curious, they pick it up and give it a rub. Instantly, a genie appears.”You know the deal,” says the genie. “Three wishes. […]

Accountant jokes

What does an accountant use fo…

8 Jul , 2009  

What does an accountant use for birth control?His personality.

Accountant jokes

How can you tell when the Chie…

8 Jul , 2009  

How can you tell when the Chief Accountant is getting soft?When he actually listens to Marketing before saying No

Accountant jokes

A Martian lands to plunder, pi…

8 Jul , 2009  

A Martian lands to plunder, pillage and burn. He goes up to the owner of the first house he sees and says, “I’m a Martian just arrived from the other side of the galaxy. We’re here to destroy your civilisation, pillage and burn. What do you think about that?” The owner replies, “I don’t have […]

Accountant jokes

An internal auditor for a manu…

8 Jul , 2009  

An internal auditor for a manufacturing group was concerned about anomalies in stock levels. He thought someone might be pinching stock but he couldn’t prove it. He had his eye on one shifty-looking individual who every day drove his old truck out of the factory with the load covered by a tarpaulin. Time after time […]