A guy in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and says, “Want to hear an accountant joke?”The guy next to him replies, “Well, before you tell that joke, you should know that I’m 6 feet tall, 200 pounds, and I’m an accountant. And the guy sitting next to me is 6’2” […]

What do you call an accountant who is seen talking to someone?Popular

Why do accountants get excited on Saturdays?They can wear casual clothes to work

Accountant after reading nursery rhymes to his young child:”No, son. When Little Bo Peep lost her sheep that wouldn’t be tax deductible, but I like your thinking”.

The young accounting graduate, fresh out of uni and knowing everything, applied for his first job. The prospective employer asked him what starting salary he was looking for.”Oh, around $100,000 a year, depending on the benefits package.””Well, how does this sound? Five weeks annual leave, 22.5% superannuation, paid expenses to overseas conferences every year, home […]

If an accountant’s wife cannot sleep, what does she say?”Darling, could you tell me about your work.”

What’s the definition of unlikely?A photo-spread in Playboy titled ‘The World’s Top Accountants – Nude!’.

How do you know when an accountant’s on holidays?He doesn’t wear a tie to work and comes in after 8.30.

Wife to husband as they watch their young son playing:”He’s such a sensitive child. Let’s wait until he’s older before we tell him you’re an accountant.”

A tourist, visiting a small town in Israel, came upon a statue dedicated to “The Unknown Soldier”. At the base of the statue, a sign was displayed: “Here lies Seymour Ruthenberg”.The tourist inquired of one of the locals how was it possible an unknown had a name.The resident replied, “As a soldier, that Seymour was […]

A 54-year-old accountant leaves a letter for his wife one evening which read: “Dear Wife, I am 54 years old, and by the time you get this letter I will be at the Grand Hotel with my beautiful and sexy eighteen year old secretary.”When he arrived at the hotel, there was a letter waiting for […]

What’s an accountant’s idea of trashing his hotel room?Refusing to fill out the guest comment card.