When does a person decide to become an accountant?When he realises he doesn’t have the charisma to succeed as an undertaker.

What do accountants suffer from that ordinary people don’t?Depreciation.

Laws of Accounting1. Trial balances don’t2. Bank reconciliations never do3. Working Capital does not4. Return on Investments never will

Once upon a time there was a beautiful oil company. All day long she loved to run up and down the share price list, laughing and skipping. But one day she was very sad, because she couldn’t find an interim dividend anywhere and she knew people would be very angry if she couldn’t produce it.”What’s […]

Why did God invent economists?So accountants could have someone to laugh at.

What does it mean when an accountant is drooling out of both sides of his mouth?His desk is level

Who was the first accountant?Adam. He got interested in figures, turned the first leaf, made the first entry, lost interest after withdrawal, buggered up the monthly accounts and raised the first liability.

There once was an accountant who lived her whole life without ever taking advantage of any of the people she worked for. In fact, she made sure that every job she did resulted in a win-win situation.One day while walking down the street she was tragically hit by a bus and she died. Her soul […]

What’s an actuary?An accountant without the sense of humour.

How do you know accountants have no imagination?They named a firm PricewaterhouseCoopers.

What’s a shy and retiring accountant?An accountant who is half a million shy and that’s why he’s retiring.

A man walking along a country road comes across a farmer droving a huge mob of sheep. He stops and chats for a while and then says, “Tell you what, I’ll bet you $100 against one of your sheep that I can tell you the exact number in that flock.”The farmer thinks for a moment, […]