Eddie’s father called up to him, ‘Eddie, if you don’t stop playing that trumpet I think I’ll go crazy!’Eddy replied, ‘I think you are already, I stopped playing half an hour ago.’

Dick and Jane were arguing furiously over the breakfast table. ‘ Oh you’re so stupid!’ shouted Dick.’Dick!’ said their father, ‘that’s quite enough of that! Now say you’re sorry.”OK,’ said Dick. ‘Jane, I’m sorry you’re stupid.’

‘Why are you crying, Ted ?’ asked his mum.’Because my new sneakers hurt.”That’s because you have put them on the wrong feet.”But they are the only feet I have.’

Ben’s dad was building a pine bookshelf and Ben was watching and occasionally helping. ‘ What are the holes for ?’ Ben asked.’They’re knot holes,’ said his dad.’What are they, then, if they’re not holes ?’ asked Ben.

Young Jimmy was having a snack after school with his Gran. ‘ Would you like another cookie ?’ she asked.’Yes, please,’ replied Jimmy.’What good manners you have,’ said his Gran. ‘ I do like to hear young people say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’.”I’ll say them both if I can have a big piece of that […]

Mum: Haven’t you finished filling the salt shaker yet ?Son: Not yet. It’s really hard to get the salt through all those little holes !

Will and Bill were quarrelling about whose father was the stronger. Will said,’ Well, you know the Pacific Ocean ? My father’s the one who dug the hole for it.’Bill wasn’t impressed, ‘ Well, that’s nothing. You know the Dead Sea ? My father’s the one who killed it !

Two boys camping out in a backyard wanted to know the time, so they began singing at the top of their voices.Eventually one of the neighbours threw open his window and shouted down at them “Hey, less noise!, don’t you know it’s three o’clock in the morning!”

‘You boy !’ called a policeman.’ Can you help ? We’re looking for a man with a huge red nose called Cotters……”Really ?’ said the boy. ‘What’re his ears called ?’

As two boys were passing the rectory, the minister leaned over the wall and showed them a ball.”Is this yours” he asked”Did it do any damage” asked one of the boys”No” replied the minister”Then it’s mine !”

Did you hear about the boy who was known as Fog ?He was dense and wet !

A little boy went into a baker’s’ ‘How much are those cakes ? he asked ‘Two for 25 cents,’ said the baker ‘ How much does one cost ?’ asked the boy ’13 cents,’ said the baker’Then I’ll take the other one for 12 cents !’ said the boy