Teacher: How can you make so many mistakes in just one day ?Pupil: I get up early !

Teacher: What time do you get up in the morning ?About an hour and a half after I arrived at school

Mother: How do you like your new teacher ?Son: I don’t. She told me to sit up the front for the present and then she didn’t give me one !

Mother: Does your teacher like you ?Son: Like me, she loves me. Look at all those X’s on my test paper !

Teacher: Can anyone tell me how many seconds there are in a year ?Pupil: 12 – 2nd January, 2nd February…!

Teacher: This is the third time I’ve had to tell you off this week, what have you got to say about that?Pupil: Thank heavens it’s Friday !

Teacher: Why can’t you ever answer any of my questions ?Pupil: Well if I could there wouldn’t be much point in me being here !

Teacher: Can anyone give me the name of a liquid that won’t freeze ?Pupil: Hot water !

Teacher: Does anyone know which month has 28 days ?Pupil: All of them !

Teacher : Can’t you retain anything in your head overnight ?Pupil : Of course, I’ve had this cold in my head for two days !

What do French pupils say after finishing their school dinners ?Mercy !

Teacher: What can we do to stop polluting our waters ?Pupil: Stop taking baths ?