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Student: “Would it be possible to install Arabic language support on those computers?” Computer Teacher: “In order to use Arabic language in Windows, you must install an Arabic graphic card. So I don’t think we could do that.”
Tech Support: “How may I help you today, sir?” Customer: “Hello…hey, er…I think I’ve got the wrong software installed in my computer.” Tech Support: “Why is that, sir?” Customer: “I bought this minitower system from you, and it came loaded with software called the ‘XYZ Desktop’.” Tech Support: “Yes…?” Customer: “Shouldn’t it be called the […]
Me: “What is that noise?” Customer: “Hey Martinez!! I’m on the phone! Cut it out!” Me: “What was that?” Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep! Customer: “It’s from a device.” Me: “What kind of device?” Customer: “I don’t know.” Me: “Like a fax machine or something?” Customer: “I don’t know. Someone is under house arrest […]
Customer: “My disk is stuck in my disk drive. Clicking eject doesn’t work.” Tech Support: “Ok, turn the power to your Mac off, hold down the mouse clicker, and power the Mac back up.” Customer: “Look, I don’t have three hands!”
Customer: “Hi, I’m supposed to pack [zip] my database and send it to you. What should I pack it in?”
Customer: “I’ve been doing risk analysis by hand for five years, and we finally got your program so we could do it automatically — but there’s a bug in it. The answers come out differently each time.” Tech Support: “Sir, are you aware that our program uses Monte-Carlo analysis?” Customer: “Of course I am. That’s […]
Customer: “Wait, that password looks really gray. I’m going to type it in again.”
Customer: “Why didn’t you tell me I have call waiting?” Tech Support: “Sir, we have no way of knowing if you have call waiting.” Customer: “Well, you should ask everybody!” Tech Support: “Do you have call waiting?” Customer: “What’s that?”
Customer: “It says I’ve performed an illegal operation and will be shut down. Have I done something wrong?”
Tech Support: “Which format are the images you send?” Customer: “Rectangular, 15×11 centimeters.”
A Software Engineer, a Hardware Engineer and a Branch Manager were on their way to a meeting. They were driving down a steep mountain road when suddenly the brakes on their car failed. The car careened almost out of control down the road, bouncing off the crash barriers, until it miraculously ground to a halt […]
