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Q: How many Microsoft support staff does it take to change a light bulb?A: Four. One to ask “What is the registration number of the light bulb?”, one to ask “Have you tried rebooting it?”, another to ask “Have you tried reinstalling it?” and the last one to say “It must be your hardware because […]
Q: How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?A: We can see no need for uninstallation and have therefore made no provision for light bulbs to be removed.
Q: How many Bill Gateses does it take to change a light bulb?A: One. He puts the bulb in and lets the world revolve around him.
A programmer was walking along the beach when he found a lamp. Upon rubbing the lamp a genie appeared who stated “I am the most powerful genie in the world. I can grant you any wish you want, but only one wish.”The programmer pulled out a map of the Mediterranean area and said “I’d like […]
If Bill Gates had a dime for every time a Windows box crashed…Oh, wait a minute, he already does.
There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer.When asked to define “great” he said, “I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in […]
There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer.When asked to define “great” he said, “I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in […]
Dear Boss,I hope I haven’t misunderstood your instructions. Because to be honest, boss, none of this Y to K dates problem makes any sense to me.At any rate I have finished converting all the months on all the company calendars so that the year 2000 is ready to go with the following improved months: Januark, […]
While trying to diagnose a problem over the phone I told the user to type out his autoexec.bat file.He said it said “File not found”.I told him to do a dir.I asked him if he saw autoexec.bat listed.He said, “Well it says autoexec, then there’s some spaces, but no dot, and then it says bat.”I […]
Webster’s Dictionary definition of Windows 95Windows95: n. 32 bit extensions and a graphical shell for a 16 bit patch to an 8 bit operating system originally coded for a 4 bit microprocessor, written by a 2 bit company, that can’t stand 1 bit of competition.
Why did the school bully kick the classroom computer?Someone told him he was supposed to boot up the system.
The Three Laws of Secure Computing1) Don’t buy a computer.2) If you do buy a computer, don’t plug it in.3) If you do plug it in, sell it and return to step 1.
