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What animal do you look like when you get into the bath ? A little bear !
A lady was walking down the street to work and she saw a parrot on a perch in front of a pet store. The parrot said to her, “Hey lady, you are really ugly.” Well, the lady is furious! She stormed past the store to her work. On the way home she saw the same […]
There are bats hanging of a branch upside down, all except one. Two bats comment: “What’s happened to this one?- I don’t know, two minutes ago he seemed normal and then he fainted.
A vampire bat came flapping in from a night of foraging, covered in fresh blood. He parked himself on the cave’s roof to get some sleep. Soon all the other bats smelled the blood and began hassling him about where he got it. He told them to shut up and let him get some sleep, […]
Diner: Watch out! Your thumbs in my soup!Waiter: Don’t worry, Sir, it’s not that hot!
A waiter brings the customer the steak he ordered with his thumb over the meat.”Are you crazy?” yelled the customer, “with your hand on my steak?””What” answers the waiter, “You want it to fall on the floor again?”
Waiter: “Tea or coffee, gentlemen?”1st customer: “I’ll have tea.”2nd customer: “Me, too – and be sure the glass is clean!”(Waiter exits, returns)Waiter: “Two teas. Which one asked for the clean glass?”
Waiter, waiter, do you have frog’s legs?Certainly, Sir!Well hop over here and get me a sandwich!
Two attorneys went into a diner and ordered two drinks. Then they produced sandwiches from their briefcases and started to eat. The waiter became quite concerned and marched over and told them, “You can’t eat your own sandwiches in here!” The attorneys looked at each other, shrugged their shoulders and then exchanged sandwiches.
You’re hiking around on Hampsted Heath (a park near London) at the end of a long sunny day. You run across (separately) the ghosts of Sir Winston Churchill, Sir Baden Powell, and Sir Edmund Hillary, who all give you directions to the nearest tube stop. Whom don’t you believe? Your story teller, for there is […]
Why did your sister cut a hole in her new umbrella ?Because she wanted to be able to tell when it stopped raining.
‘You never get anything right,’ complained the teacher. ‘What kind of job do you think you’ll get when you leave school ?”Well, I want to be the weather girl on TV.’
