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Why did you drop the baby? Well, Mrs Smith said he was a bonny bouncing baby, so I wanted to see if he did.
It can’t go on! It can’t go on! What can’t go on? This baby’s vest ? it’s too small for me.
Did you hear about Mrs Dimwit’s new baby? She thought babies should be pink, so she took this one to the doctor because it was a horrible yeller.
Mum, are the Smiths very poor people? I don’t think so, Jimmy. Why do you ask? Because they made such a fuss when their baby swallowed a coin
Daddy, daddy, can I have another glass of water, please? But that’s the tenth one I’ve given you tonight! Yes, but the baby’s bedroom is still on fire.
Doctor, doctor, my baby’s swallowed a watch! Give it some Epsom Salts: that should help it pass the time.
A scoutmaster asked one of his troop what good deed he had done for the day. “Well, Skip,” said the scout, “Mum had only one dose of castor oil left, so I let my baby brother have it.”
Mrs Brown: Who was that at the door? Veronica: A lady with a baby in a buggy. Mrs Brown: Tell her to push off. “
I see the baby’s nose is running again,” said a worried father. “For goodness sake!” snapped his wife. “Can’t you think of anything other than horse racing?”
A distraught mum rushed into the back yard, where eight-year-old Tommy was banging on the bottom of an old upturned tin bath with a poker. “What do you think you’re doing?” she demanded. “I’m just entertaining the baby,” explained Tommy. “Where is the baby?” asked his Mum. “Under the bath.”
