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Did you hear that the Post Office had to recall its series of stamps depicting famous lawyers? People were confused about which side to spit on.
First person: Do you know how to save five lawyers who are drowning?Second person: No.First person: Good!
Have you seen the current remake of the movie “Cape Fear”? It’s about a deranged psychotic who is seeking revenge against a lawyer. The question is, while watching the movie, whom do you root for?
How many lawyers does it take to grease a combine?Only one if you run him through slowly!
If a lawyer and an IRS agent were both drowning, and you could only save one of them, would you go to lunch or read the paper?
A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing atthe counter methodically placing “Love” stamps on bright pink envelopes with heartsall over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all overthem.His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes up to the balding […]
An old man was critically ill. Feeling that death was near, he called his lawyer. “I want to become a lawyer. How much is it or the express degree you told me about?””It’s $50,000,” the lawyer said. “But why? You’ll be dead soon, why do you want to become a lawyer?””That’s my business! Get me […]
A man walks into a friend and sees that his friend’s caris total loss and covered with leaves, grass, branches,dirt and blood. He asks his friend,”What’s happened to your car?””Well,” the friend responses, “I ran into a lawyer”.”OK,” says the man, “that explains the blood… But what about the leaves, the grass, the branches and […]
A tough case was being argued in court. The defense attorney,feeling that he was in trouble, sent the judge a bottle ofhundred-year old brandy. The defendant was fit to be tied.”The judge’ll kill me. Trying to bribe him! We’re dead!””I don’t think so,” his attorney told him. “I sent it in the other lawyer’s name!”
