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“Mah son’s real smart!” crowed the redneck mother to an acquaintance. “He’s only six but he can already spell his name backwards and forwards!” “What’s his name?” asked the friend. “Bob.”
A Hoosier, a Kentuckian and a West Virginian were on a Hollywood TV quiz show. The host asked them to complete the sentence: “Old MacDonald had a …” The Indianan said, “Old MacDonald had a carburetor.” “Sorry,” said the MC. “That’s incorrect.” “Old MacDonald had a flat tire,” said the Kentuckian. “Wrong,” said the host. […]
Why do artists never win when they play football ?They keep drawing !
Manager: I thought I told you to lose weight. What happened to your three week diet ?Player: I finished it in three days !
Why are football grounds odd ?Because you can sit in the stands but can’t stand in the sits !
Q: What’s the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver?A: A bad golfer goes, WHACK! “Damn.” A bad skydiver goes, “Damn.” WHACK!
Q: What’s the difference between David Beckham and an airplane model kit? A: One’s a glueless kit and the other’s a clueless git!
“I gotta ‘A’ in spelling,” Tony told his father. “You dope!” he replied. “There isn’t any ‘A’ in ‘spelling’!”
