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Three people die, a Doctor a school teacher and the head of a large HMO, when met at the pearly gates by St. Peter he asks the Doctor ‘what did you do on Earth?’The Dotor replied, I healed the sick and if they could not pay I would do it for free. St. Peter told […]
Two Irish friends greeted each other while waiting their turn at the bank window. “This reminds me of Finnegan,” remarked one. “What about Finnegan?” inquired the other. “‘Tis a story that Finnegan died, and when he greeted St. Peter, he said: ‘It’s a fine job you’ve had here for a long time.’ ‘Well, Finnegan,’ said […]
It seems three Irishmen, Sean, Michael and Tim, passed over at the same time. Upon encountering the Pearly Gates, they were met by ST. Patrick himself, and he addressed the boys thusly: “Lads, I’m here to welcome you to heaven where you will spend eternity. Just remember one thing, when you go through these gates, […]
Did you know that heaven and hell are actually right next to each other? They are seperated by a big chain-link fence. Well, one day hell was having a big party and it got a little out of hand. God heard the ruckus and arrived to find his fence completely smashed by the wild partiers. […]
Three buddies die in a car crash, and they go to heaven to an orientation.They are all asked, “When you are in your casket and friends and family are mourning upon you, what would you like to hear them say about you? The first guy says, “I would like to hear them say that I […]
Three men die in a car accident Christmas Eve. They all find themselves at the pearly gates waiting to enter Heaven. On entering they must present something relating or associated with Christmas.The first man searches his pocket, and finds some Mistletoe, so he is allowed in. The second man presents a cracker, so he is […]
St. Peter is questioning three married couples to see if they qualify for admittance to heaven.”Why do you deserve to pass the Pearly Gates?” he asks one of the men, who had been a butler.”I was a good father,” he answers.”Yes, but you were a drunk all your life. In fact, you were so bad […]
This guy dies and is sent to Hell. Satan meets him and shows him the doors to three rooms and says he must choose one of the rooms to spend eternity in.So Satan opens the first door. In the room there are people standing in cow manure up to their necks. The guy says “No, […]
Recently a teacher, a garbage collector, and a lawyer wound up together at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter informed them that in order to get into Heaven, they would each have to answer one question. St. Peter addressed the teacher and asked, “What was the name of the ship that crashed into the iceberg? They […]
Everybody on earth dies and goes to heaven. God comes and says “I want the men to make two lines. One line for the men that dominated their women on earth and the other line for the men that were whipped by their women. Also, I want all the women to go with St Peter.” […]
Three guys found themselves in Hell: we will call them Carl, Bob, and Brett, they were a little confused at their present situation, and they were startled to see a door in the wall open, and behind the door was perhaps the ugliest woman they had ever seen. She was 3’4″, dirty, and you could […]
When crossing the Delaware River why did George Washington stand up in the boat ?He was afraid that if he sat down that someone would give him an oar to row !
