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Sharon: I’m so homesick.Sheila: But this is your home!Sharon: I know and I’m sick of it.
What did the painter say to her boyfriend?”I love you with all my art!”
What does a man who loves his car do on February 14?He gives it a valenshine!
At a country-club party a young man was introduced to an attractive girl. He immediately began paying her court and flattering her. The girl liked the young man, but she was taken a bit aback by his fast and ardent pitch. She was amazed when, after 30 minutes, he seriously proposed marriage. “Look,” she reacted. […]
Q: Why did the clown wear loud socks? A: So his feet wouldn’t fall asleep.
Standing at the edge of the lake, a man saw a woman flailing about in the deep water. Unable to swim, the man screamed for help. A trout fisherman ran up. The man said, “My wife is drowning and I can’t swim. Please save her. I’ll give you a hundred dollars.” The fisherman dove into […]
An engineer, an experimental physicist, a theoretical physicist, and a philosopher were hiking through the hills of Scotland. Cresting the top of one hill, they see, on top of the next, a black sheep. The engineer says: “What do you know, the sheep in Scotland are black.” “Well, *some* of the sheep in Scotland are […]
A monastery in the English countryside was having a hard time with its cash flow because of the dwindling number of monks available to help with all the work. Then one day two of the monks, who had been discussing the problem, suggested they open a fish and chips stand down on the highway, right […]
Harry was telling his friend about his holiday in Switzerland. His friend had never been to Switzerland and asked, ‘what did you think of the scenery ?”Oh, I couldn’t see much,’ Harry admitted. ‘There were all these mountains in the way.’
The garbage men were just about to leave the street when a girl came running out of the house carrying some cardboard boxes.’Am I too late for the garbage ?’ she called.’No,’ replied one of the men, ‘jump right in !’
