Post by: admin
When is an English teacher like a judge? When she hands out long sentences.
A red-faced judge convened court after a long lunch. The first case involved a man charged with drunk driving who claimed it simply wasn’t true.”I’m as sober as you are, your honor,” the man claimed.The judge replied, “Clerk, please enter a guilty plea. The defendant is sentenced to 30 days.”
It seems that a lawyer had a little bit too much to drink and on his way home rear-ended the car in front of him. The lawyer got out of his car, walked over to the driver of the other car and said, “Boy, are you in trouble. I’m a lawyer!”The driver looked out his […]
Before a burglary trial, the judge explained to the defendant, “You can let me try your case, or you can choose to have a jury of your peers.”The man thought for a moment. “What are peers?” he asked.”They’re people just like you your equals.””Forget it,” retorted the defendant. “I don’t want to be tried by […]
Prosecutor: Did you kill the victim?Defendant: No, I did not.Prosecutor: Do you know what the penalties are for perjury?Defendant: Yes, I do. And they’re a hell of a lot better than the penalty for murder.
Judge: All your responses to the questions must be oral. Do you understand?A: YesJudge: What school did you attend in the fall of 1995?A: Oral.
Judge: Are you married?A. No, I’m divorced.Judge. And what did your husband do before you divorced him?A. A lot of things I didn’t know about.
Judge: Your first marriage was terminated by death?A: Yes, by death.Judge: And by whose death was it terminated?
Judge: You stated that the stairs went down to the basement, is that correct?A: Yes.Judge: And these same stairs, did the also go up?
Judge: What is your relationship with the plaintiff?A: She is my daughter.Judge: Was she your daughter on February 13, 1979?
Judge: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?A: All my autopsies are on dead people.
