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QUESTION: Why are lifesavers better than men? ANSWER: They come in five flavors.
Men are like fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it’s a woman’s job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something you’d like to have dinner with.
One Saturday afternoon, a man was sitting in his lawn chair drinking beer and watching his wife mow the lawn. A neighbor lady was so outraged at this, she came over and shouted at the man, “You should be hung!” To which he calmly replied, “I am. That’s why she cuts the grass!”
Wanting to lose weight, a woman placed a picture of a shapely, pinup model in her refrigerator to remind her of her goal. The reminder worked like a charm as the woman discovered that she had lost ten pounds in the first month of using this method. The downside to this was that her husband […]
The difference between men and womenA man is driving up a steep, narrow mountain road. A woman is driving down the same road. As they pass each other, the woman leans out the window and yells, “PIG!”The man immediately leans out his window and replies, “Stupid!”They each continue on their way, and as the man […]
What a woman says: “This place is a mess C’mon, you and I need to clean up. Your stuff is lying on the floor, and you’ll have no clothes to wear, if we don’t do laundry right now!”What a man hears: blah, blah, blah, blah, C’mon blah, blah, blah, blah, you and I blah, blah, […]
A man parked his car at the supermarket and was walking past an empty cart when he heard a woman ask, “Excuse me, did you want that cart?””No,” he answered. “I’m only after one thing.”As he walked toward the store, he heard her murmur, “Typical male.”
When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
Why are men like blenders?You need one, but you’re not quite sure why.
Where do you have to go to find a man who is truly into commitment?A mental hospital.
