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A doctor of psychology was doing his normal morning rounds when he entered a patient’s room. He found Patient #1 sitting on the floor, pretending to saw a piece of wood in half. Patient #2 was hanging from the ceiling, by his feet. The doctor asked patient number 1 what he was doing. The patient […]
A group of psychiatrists were attending a convention. Four of them decided to leave, and walked out together. One said to the other three, “People are always coming to us with their guilt and fears, but we have no one that we can go to when we have problems.” The others agreed.Then one said, “Since […]
How many Dependent P.D. does to take to change a lightbulb?None, he’s still clinging to the old lightbulb.
How many Histrionic P.D. does to take to change a lightbulb?”You want me to change the lightbulb? I could burn my hand! I could be electrocuted! I could fall off the ladder and be paralyzed for life! You don’t love me anymore!”
Two psychiatrists were walking down a hall.One turned to the other and said, “Hello.”The other one thought, “I wonder what he meant by that.”
Three patients in a mental institution prepare for an examination given by the head psychiatrist. If the patients pass the exam, they will be free to leave the hospital. However, if they fail, the institution will detain them for five years.The doctor takes the three patients to the top of a diving board looking over […]
The mother of a problem child was advised by a psychiatrist, “You are far too upset and worried about your son. I suggest you take tranquilizers regularly.”On her next visit the psychiatrist asked, “Have the tranquilizers calmed you down?””Yes,” the boy’s mother answered.”And how is your son now?” the psychiatrist asked.”Who cares?” the mother replied.
After hearing that one of the patients in a mental hospital had saved another from a suicide attempt by pulling him out of a bathtub, the hospital director reviewed the rescuer’s file and called him into his office.”Mr. Haroldson, your records and your heroic behavior indicate that you’re ready to go home. I’m only sorry […]
How many Obsessive-Compulsive P.D. does to take to change a lightbulb?Just one. But he has to check it 100 times, one for each watt.
How many Passive Aggressive P.D. does to take to change a lightbulb?Oops.I can’t believe I broke the last one. I guess you’ll have to sit in the dark.
The head doctors in an insane asylum had a meeting and decided that one of their patients was potentially well. So they decide to test him and take him to the movies. When they get to the movie theater, there are signs of wet paint pointing to the benches. The doctors just sit down, but […]
When they arrived at the therapist’s office, the therapist jumped right in and opened the floor for discussion. “What seems to be the problem?” Immediately, the husband held his long face down without anything to say. On the other hand, the wife began talking 90 miles and hour describing all the wrongs within their marriage. […]
