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At a lesson in topography a soldier was asked: “What is farther away, Harrison, the moon or that object on this map?””That object, naturally.””What makes you think that?”” ‘Cause we can see the moon any clear night, and we can’t see that object even at day time.”
As the family gathered for a big dinner together, the youngest son had an announcement to make: He’d just signed up at an army recruiter’s office. There were audible gasps around the table, then some laughter, as his older brothers shared their disbelief that he could handle this new situation.”Oh, come on, quit pulling our […]
You Might be a Marine Wife if:1. Your mail goes to four addresses in two countries before it reaches you. 2. You earned an Accounting degree by deciphering your husband’s LES and running a family on what was ACTUALLY deposited. 3. “Savings” sounds like a great idea and you hope to someday have some. 4. […]
One of my husband’s duties as a novice drill instructor at Fort Jackson, S.C., was to escort new recruits to the mess hall. After everyone had made it through the chow line, he sat them down and told them, “There are three rules in this mess hall: Shut up! Eat up! Get up!”Checking to see […]
Patient: Why did you charge me a group rate?Psychiatrist: You’ve got multiple personalities.
Did you hear about the auto mechanic who went to a psychiatrist and insisted on laying under the couch?
A woman entered a psychiatrist’s consulting room leadind a kangaroo.”I’m worried about my husband, doctor, ” she said. “He keeps thinking he’s a kangaroo! “
Doctor ! Doctor ! I think I’m going crazy. I have a carrot growing out of my ear.Amazing ! so you have. How could that have happened ?I can’t understand it either, because I planted cabbage !
What do you know when you see three rabbits walking down the street wearing tuxedos and top hats? You know you need a psychiatrist!
Why is a psychiatrist like a squirrel?Because they are both surrounded by nuts.
SIX PHASES OF THE MONTH IN NAVY RECRUITING 1. ENTHUSIASM 2. DISILUSIONMENT 3. PANIC 4. SEARCH FOR THE GUILTY 5. PUNISHMENT OF THE INNOCENT 6. PRAISE AND HONORS FOR THE NON-PARTICIPANTS
Psychiatrist: Well, what’s your problem? Patient: I prefer brown shoes to black shoes.Psychiatrist: There’s nothing wrong with that. Lots of people prefer brown shoes to black shoes. I do myself.Patient: Really? How do your like yours – fried or boiled?
