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Traffic was backed up for miles, the police were going car to car. When they got to my car I asked the officer what was going on.He said “It’s Al Gore. He’s up there threatening to set himself on fire! We are going car to car collecting donations.””Donations!” I said, “How much you got so […]
A man was speeding down a Alabama highway, feeling secure in a gaggle of cars all traveling at the same speed. However, as they passed a speed trap, he got nailed with an infrared speed detector and was pulled over.The officer handed him the citation, received his signature and was about to walk away when […]
A cop stops a man for running a stop sign and the subject gives the cop a lot of grief explaining that he did stop.After several minutes, the cop explained to the gentleman that he didn’t stop, he just slowed down a little.The gentleman said ‘Stop or slow down, what’s the difference?’.The cop pulled the […]
Little Tommy’s kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police station. There they saw pictures tacked to a big bulletin board. The label clearly read, “The 10 Most Wanted.”One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person.”Yes,” said the policeman, “the […]
A shoplifter was caught red-handed trying to steal a watch from an exclusive jewelry store. “Listen,” said the shoplifter, “I know you don’t want any trouble either. What do you say I just buy the watch and we forget about this?” The manager agreed and wrote up the sales slip. The crook looked at the […]
A rookie police officer was out for his first ride in a cruiser with an experienced partner. A call came in telling them to disperse some people who were loitering.The officers drove to the street and observed a small crowd standing on a corner.The rookie rolled down his window and said, “Let’s get off the […]
The local sheriff was looking for a deputy, so Gomer – who was not exactly the sharpest nail in the bucket went in to try out for the job.”Okay,” the sheriff drawled, “Gomer, what is 1 and 1?””11” he replied.The sheriff thought to himself, “That’s not what I meant, but he’s right.””What two days of […]
Two rednecks, Bubba and Earl, were driving down the road drinking a couple of bottles of Bud.The passenger, Bubba, said “Lookey thar up ahead, Earl, it’s a police roadblock!! We’re gonna get busted fer drinkin’ these here beers!!””Don’t worry, Bubba,” Earl said. “We’ll just pull over and finish drinkin’ these beers then peel off the […]
A police officer attempts to stop a car for speeding and the guy gradually increases his speed until he’s topping 100 mph. He eventually realizes he can’t escape and finally pulls over.The cop approaches the car and says, “It’s been a long day and my tour is almost over, so if you can give me […]
A police car pulls up in front of grandma Bessie’s house, and grandpa Morris gets out.The polite policeman explained that this elderly gentleman said that he was lost in the park…and couldn’t find his way home. ” Oy Morris “, said grandma, ” You’ve been going to that park for over 30 years ! So […]
A policeman stops a lady and asks for her license. He says “Lady, it says here that you should be wearing glasses.”The woman answered “Well, I have contacts.”The policeman replied “I don’t care who you know! You’re getting a ticket!”
