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A door-to-door vacuum cleaner salesman manages to bull his way into a woman’s home in a rural area.”This machine is the best ever” he exclaims, whilst pouring a bag of dirt over the lounge floor.The woman says she’s really worried it may not all come off, so the salesman says, “If this machine doesn’t remove […]
An American tourist was lunching in a restaurant in China where the specialty was duck. The waiter explained each dish as he brought it to the table. “This is the breast of the duck; this the leg of the duck; this is the wing of the duck; etc.” Then came the dish that the American […]
Waiter, waiter, does the pianist play requests? Yes, sir. Then ask him to play tiddlywinks until I’ve finished my meal.
There was an awful fight at the seafood restaurant.Four fish got battered!
A man and his girlfriend were out to dinner one night. The waiter tells them the night’s special is chicken almondine and fresh fish.”The chicken sounds good; I’ll have that,” the woman says.The waiter nods. “And the vegetable?” he asks.”Oh, he’ll have the fish,” she replies.
Waiter, what is this bug doing on my wives shoulder!I don’t know – friendly thing isn’t he !
A out-of-towner in New York at the height of the tourist season decided to revisit an uptown restaurant he’d enjoyed on a previous trip to the city. Finally catching the eye of an overworked waiter, he said, “You know, it’s been over five years since I first came in here.” “You’ll have to wait your […]
Two little boys were visiting their grandfather and he took them to a restaurant for lunch. They couldn’t make up their minds about what they wanted to eat.Finally the grandfather grinned at the server and said, “Just bring them bread and water.”One of the little boys looked up and quavered, “Can I have ketchup on […]
The headwaiter of an elegant restaurant recoiled in disgust as a man in boots, torn jeans and a leather jacket approached him. “Hey, man,” he said, “where’s the toilet?” “Go down the hall and turn left, “replied the headwaiter. “When you see the sign marked ‘Gentlemen; pay no attention to it and go right on […]
“What’s the matter with your dinner ?””Can you describe it for me please in case I need to tell my doctor later what I’ve eaten !”
