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Pupil: The art teacher doesn’t like what I’m making ?Dad: Why is that, what are you making ?Pupil: Mistakes !
Caspar: I was the teacher’s pet last year.Jaspar: Why was that? Caspar: She couldn’t afford a dog.
TEACHER: “Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?”JOHNNY: “Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day, same time.”
Teacher: Can you tell me something important that didn’t exist 100 years ago ?Pupil: Me !
Teacher: Why have you got cotton wool in your ears, do you have an infection ?Pupil: Well you keep saying that things go in one ear and out the other so I am trying to keep them it all in!
Teacher: Fred, I’m glad to see your writing has improved.Pupil: Thank youTeacher: Now I can see how bad your spelling is though !
Teacher: You seem very well read, have you read Shakespeare ?Pupil: No Teacher: What have you read then ?Pupil: Umm, I’ve got red hair !
Teacher: In music, if “f” means “forte”, what does “ff” mean ?Pupil: Eighty
Teacher: In what part of the world are the people most ignorant ?Pupil: Hong KongTeacher: Why do you say that ?Pupil: That’s where the atlas says the population is most dense !
Teacher: I wished you would pay a little attentionPupil: I’m paying as little as I can !
Teacher: What’s the longest word in the English language ?Pupil: Smiles – because there is a mile between the first and last letters
