One vampire to the other : ” Let’s go and have a drink.I know a cosy little mortuary just round the corner”!

Did you hear about the doctor who crossed a parrot with a vampire ?It bit his neck, sucked his blood, and said, ‘Who’s a pretty boy then ?’!

What did the vampire do to stop his son biting his nails ?He cut all his fingers off !

Who is a vampire likely to fall in love with ?The girl necks door.

Why is it tough to compete against a vampire? Because they’re always out for blood!

Did you hear about the vampire in Camelot? He was a bite of the Round Table!

What does a vampire take for a cold? Coffin syrup!

Why did the vampire sit on a pumpkin?It wanted to play squash.

What’s pink, lives in a sty and drinks blood? A hampire.

What do you get if you cross Dracula with a snail? The world’s slowest vampire.

Why did Dracula miss lunch? Because he didn’t fancy the stake.

When he’s out driving, where does Dracula like to stop and eat?The Happy Biter.