How do vampires keep their breath smelling nice? They use extractor fangs.

Why does Dracula have no friends?Because he’s a pain in the neck.

How does a vampire get through life with only one fang? He has to grin and bare it.

How does Dracula like to have his food served? In bite-sized pieces.

What has webbed feet and fangs? Count Quackula.

What do you get if you cross Dracula with AI Capone? A fangster.

Doctor, doctor, I think I’ve been bitten by a vampire. Drink this glass of water. Will it make me better? No, but I’ll be able to see if your neck leaks.

What does Mrs Dracula say to Mr Dracula when he leaves for work in the evening? Have a nice bite!

Why did the vampire go to hospital?He wanted his ghoulstones removed.

How does Dracula keep fit? He plays batminton.

What’s it called when a vampire kisses you goodnight? Necking.

Two men were having a drink together. One said, “I’d rather live with a vampire than with my wife.” “Why’s that?” asked the other. “Because she’s always trying to bite my head off,” he replied.