What is a runner’s favourite subject in school?Jog-raphy!

What does Paul Inces mum make for Christmas?Ince pies!

What does a footballer and a magician have in common?Both do hat tricks!

How do hens encourage their football teams?They egg them on!

Which football team loves ice-cream?Aston Vanilla!

What lights up a football stadium?A football match!

If you have a referee in football, what do you have in bowls?Cornflakes!

Why aren’t football stadiums built in outer space?Because there is no atmosphere!

What do you get if you drop a piano on a team’s defence?A flat back four!

Why did the goal post get angry?Because the bar was rattled!

What is the bank manager’s favourite type of football?Fiver side!

What part of a football ground is never the same?The changing rooms!