What’s tennis players favourite city?Volley wood!

How does a physicist exercise?By pumping ion!

Why does someone who runs marathons make a good student?Because education pays off in the long run!

What is a runner’s favourite subject in school?Jog-raphy!

What does Paul Inces mum make for Christmas?Ince pies!

What does a footballer and a magician have in common?Both do hat tricks!

How do hens encourage their football teams?They egg them on!

Which football team loves ice-cream?Aston Vanilla!

Manager: Twenty teams in the league and you lot finish bottom?Captain: Well, it could have been worse.Manager: How?Captain: There could have been more teams in the league!

What did the footballer say when he accidentally burped during a game?Sorry, it was a freak hic!

Why are football grounds odd?Because you can sit in the stands but can’t stand in the sits!

What do you get if you drop a piano on a team’s defence?A flat back four!