Martin asked David, “In which state does the Ohio River run?” David answered with cool, “In the liquid state.”
A man walks into a palm reader store and asks the reader, “Could you read my palm?” He shows his hand to her, and she says, “But…I can’t read your hand.””Why?” the man asks.”I don’t understand your handwriting,” the woman replies.
A man had a nose ring fitted into his nose, a friend asked, “how much did you pay for that?””I paid through the nose!” he replied
Q: How many Survivors does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: One to start screwing it in and the rest to vote ’em off the ladder.
So the bus driver said to the string, “Are you a string?” and the string said, “No, I’m afraid not”. (A frayed knot).
Q: Why couldn’t the animals on Noah’s Ark play cards? A: Because Noah was standing on the deck!
Q. What’s te definition of a bachelor pad? A. All the house plants are dead, but there’s something growing in the refrigerator.
Q. What did Snow white say when her photos didn’t come back from the photo store?A. “Some day my prints will come!”
Q: Why did the haunted house not like rain? A: Because it dampened his spirits.
Q: What did the hat say to the necktie? A: You go AHEAD I’ll HANG AROUND!
Q: How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a cosmos of nothingness.
Q: Why did the scientist install a knocker on his door? A: To win the no-bell prize.
