Who never gets his hair wet in the shower? A bald man.

What do you get if you cross a hairdresser with a werewolf? A monster with an all-over perm.

Customer: Couldn’t you see I was going bald?Barber: No, the shine from your head blinded me.

Customer: Why did you take off so much hair?Barber: I didn’t, nature beat me to it.

Customer: Why doesn’t my hairline look good?Barber: It’s on the same old head.

Customer: Why is my hairline receding?Barber: It’s not. Your scalp is advancing.

Fred: Betty has lovely long red hair all down her back. Harry: Pity it’s not on her head!

Is that your face or are you wearing your hair back to front today?

Teacher: I see you don’t cut your hair any longer. Fred: No sir, I cut it shorter.

Janet came home from school and asked her mother if the aerosol spray in the kitchen was hair lacquer. “No,” said Mom. “It’s glue.” “I thought so,” said Janet. “I wondered why I couldn’t get my hat off today.”

Barber: Your hair is getting grey, Sir.Customer: I’m not surprised – hurry up, will you?

Barber: And how old are you, little man? Fred: Eight. Barber: And do you want a haircut? Fred: Well, I certainly didn’t come in for a shave!