Did you hear about Mrs Dimwit’s new baby? She thought babies should be pink, so she took this one to the doctor because it was a horrible yeller.

Why is a baby like an diamond? Because it’s a dear little thing.

What did the mummy snake say to the crying baby snake? Stop crying and viper your nose.

Mum, are the Smiths very poor people? I don’t think so, Jimmy. Why do you ask? Because they made such a fuss when their baby swallowed a coin

When a baby is learning to eat, shouldn’t he have an L-plate?

What was the policeman’s baby’s first words ?Hallo, Hallo, Hallo !

Did you hear about the witch who had the ugliest baby in the world? She didn’t push the pram – she pulled it.

What does a baby computer call his father?Data.

Knock knock. Who’s there? Baby Owl. Baby Owl who? Baby Owl see you later, baby not.

How can you tell if a snake is a baby snake? It has a rattle.