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A man with a talking parrot is getting married. On the day of the wedding he says to the parrot “Now look here, I know you are always sat in that window sticking your beak in, when me and my new wife get back from the wedding I want you to turn round and and […]
David received a parrot for his birthday. This parrot was fully grown with a bad attitude and terrible vocabulary. Every other word was an expletive. Those that weren’t expletives were, to say the least, rude. David tried hard to change the bird’s attitude. He was constantly saying polite words and playing soft music, he did […]
A man asked his wife, “What would you most like for your birthday?”She said, “I’d love to be ten again.”On the morning of her birthday, he got her up bright and early and they went to a theme park. He put her on every ride in the park – the Death Slide, The Screaming Loop, […]
A couple have not been getting along for years, so the husband thinks,”I’ll buy my wife a cemetery plot for her birthday.”Well, you can imagine her disappointment.The next year, her birthday rolls around again and thistime he doesn’t get her anything.She says, “Why didn’t you get me a birthday present!?”He replies, “You didn’t use what […]
Home – A – Age Jokes”That’s an excellent essay for someone your age,” said the English teacher. “How about for someone my Mum’s age, Miss?” “Welcome to school, Simon,” said the nursery school teacher to the new boy. “How old are you?” “I’m not old,” said Simon. “I’m nearly new.”Miss Jones agreed to be interviewed […]
Johnny was racing around the garden on his new bicycle and called out to his mother to watch his tricks. ‘Look, Mum! No hands! Look, Mum! No feet! Waaah! Look, Mum! No teeth!’
First boy: Are you having a party for your birthday? Second boy: No, I’m having a witch do. First boy: What’s a witch do? Second boy: She flies around on a broomstick casting spells.
One day two blind men started fighting.Pretty soon a crowd surrounded them.Then one of the members of the crowd yelled out “I bet 10 bucks on the one with the knife.”Both men ran away.
Q: Why don’t blind people skydive?A: It scares the heck out of the dog.
