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Why did the auditor cross the road?Because he looked in the file and that’s what they did last year.
Why did he cross back?So he could charge the client for travel expenses.
How many auditors does it take to change a light bulb?How many did it take last year?
How many cost accountants does it take to change a light bulb?Hmmm……..I’ll just do a few numbers and get back to you
Laws of Accounting1. Trial balances don’t2. Bank reconciliations never do3. Working Capital does not4. Return on Investments never will
Who was the first accountant?Adam. He got interested in figures, turned the first leaf, made the first entry, lost interest after withdrawal, buggered up the monthly accounts and raised the first liability.
What’s a shy and retiring accountant?An accountant who is half a million shy and that’s why he’s retiring.
A businessman tells his friend that his company is looking for a new accountant.His friend asks, “Didn’t your company hire a new accountant a few weeks ago?”The businessman replies, “That’s the accountant we’re looking for.”
A businessman hires a private detective to find a missing accountant.The detective tells him that he needs a description and asks a few questions.”Was he tall or was he short?”The businessman replies, “Both!”
