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According to “The Australian,” an airliner recently encountered severe vibration in flight.The captain decided to make an emergency landing, and switched on the seat belt sign.The vibration stopped immediately.A passenger emerged from a lavatory and explained that he had been jogging in place inside.
Q: How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?A: It’s not a bulb, it’s a globe.
Q: What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft?A: A flat minor.
Q: What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won’t blow away?A: Root position cords.
Q: Two musicians are walking down the street, and one says to the other, “Who was that piccolo I saw you with last night?” A: The other replies, “That was no piccolo, that was my fife.”
Q: What is the difference between a saxophone and a chainsaw?A: It’s all in the grip.
Q: Why did the old lady put wheels on her rocking chair?A: She wanted to rock and roll
An elderly lady did her shopping and, upon returning to her car, found four males in the act of leaving with her car. She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at them at the top of her voice, “I have a gun and I know how to use it! Get […]
Three old ladies met on the street on a very stormy day. The wind was so strong and loud that they had difficulty in hearing each other. “It’s windy,” said one. “No, it’s Thursday,” said the next. “So am I,” said the third. “Let’s go and have a drink!”
An old man visits his doctor and after thorough examination the doctor tells him: “I have good news and bad news, what would you like to hear first?”Patient: “Well, give me the bad news first.”Doctor: “You have cancer, I estimate that you have about two years left.”Patient: “OH NO! That’s awefull! In two years my […]
For the first time in many years, a an old man traveled from his rural town to the city to attend a movie. After buying his ticket, he stopped at the concession stand to purchase some popcorn.Handing the attendant $1.50, he couldn’t help but comment, “The last time I came to the movies, popcorn was […]
