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‘It’s a pity you’ve gone on hunger strike,’ said the convict’s girlfriend on visiting day. ‘Why ?’ ‘I’ve put a file in your cake.’
A boy is in a prison cell with no windows and no doors: there are no holes in the ceiling or trapdoors in the floor, yet in the morning the jailers find him gone. How did he get out ?Through the doorway – there were no doors remember !
Detective: Why did you dump those vegetables on my desk?Criminal: You said it was time to spill the beans.
Policeman: Did you know your vehicle was reported stolen?Criminal: It wasn’t when I took it.
Detective: How did you get into counterfeiting?Criminal: I answered an ad that said, “Make money at home.”
Detective: Do you think I should put on the cuffs?Criminal: Why? You look good in short sleeves.
Criminal: Why don’t you hire these twins for the robbery, boss?Criminal Boss: I’m afraid of a double-cross.
Victim (to mugger): But my watch isn’t any good, it only has sentimental value.Mugger: That’s all right. I’m sentimental.
A police officer was escorting a prisoner to jail when his hat blew off. “Shall I run and get it for you?” asked the prisoner obligingly. “You must think I’m daft,” said the officer. “You stand here and I’ll get it.”
Judge: Tell me your occupation. Prisoner; I’m a locksmith, Your Honour. Judge: Then what were you doing in a jewellery shop in the middle of the night when the police saw you? Prisoner; Making a bolt for the door!
