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How can you tell if a monster has a glass eye?When it comes out in conversation.
An enormous monster with eight arms and eleven legs walked into a tailors shop. ‘Quick!’ shouted the tailor to his assistant. ‘Hide the “Free Alterations” sign!’
‘Here’s a good book,’ said the sales assistant in the book shop to Mrs Monster. ‘How To Help Your Husband Get Ahead.”No, thank you,’ said Mrs Monster. ‘My husband’s got two heads already. . .’
A very tall monster with several arms and legs, all of different lengths, went into a tailor’s shop.’I’d like to see a suit that will fit me,’ he told the tailor.’So would I, sir,’ said the tailor. ‘So would I.’
What’s the difference between a monster and a mouse?A monster makes bigger holes in the skirting board.
Did you hear about the monster with five legs?His trousers fit him like a glove.
What’s big and ugly and drinks out of the wrong side of the glass?A monster trying to get rid of hiccups.
Why did the monster dye her hair yellow?To see if blondes have more fun.
What would you get if you crossed a monster with a redcoat? A bigger target.
