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Q: Why did God create man before woman? A: He didn’t want any advice.
Q: Why did Moses wander in the desert for 40 years? A: Even then men wouldn’t ask for directions!
Doctor: ‘Your recovery was a miracle!’ Patient: ‘PRAISE GOD. Now I don’t have to pay you!’
A Catholic Priest and a Rabbi were chatting one day when the conversation turned to a discussion of job descriptions and promotion.”What do you have to look forward to in way of a promotion in your job?” asked the Rabbi.”Well, I’m next in line for the Monsignor’s job.” replied the Priest.”Yes, and then what?” asked […]
A Baptist missionary was walking in Africa when he heard the ominous padding of a lion behind him. “Oh Lord,” prayed the missionary, “Grant in Thy goodness that the lion walking behind me is a good Christian lion.” And then, in the silence that followed, the missionary heard the lion praying too: “Oh Lord,” he […]
There is a story about a monastery in Europe perched high on a cliff several hundred feet in the air.The only way to reach the monastery was to be suspended in a basket which was pulled to the top by several monks who pulled and tugged with all their strength.Obviously the ride up the steep […]
Two bishops were discussing the decline in morals in the modern world.”I didn’t sleep with my wife before I was married,” said one clergyman self-righteously, “Did you?””I don’t know,” said the other. “What was her maiden name?”
Pat and Mike were walking down the street, when they came to the church, Pat says, ‘Mike, you wait here, I’m going to run in for confession, it’s been a long time’.Pat enters the confessional and says,’ Father forgive me, I have sinned with a married woman’.The priest asks, ‘was it Mrs Murphy’? ‘no, Father’, […]
One afternoon a little boy was playing outdoors. He used his mother’s broom as a horse and had a wonderful time until it was getting dark.He left the broom on the back porch. His mother was cleaning up the kitchen when she realized that her broom was missing. She asked the little boy about the […]
A drunk man who smelled like a beer sat down on a subway seat next to a priest. The man’s tie was stained, his face was smeared with red lipstick, and a half empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began to read. After a […]
There’s this guy who had been lost and walking in the desert for about 2 weeks. One hot day, he sees the home of a missionary. Tired and weak, he crawls up to the house and collapses on the doorstep. The missionary finds him and nurses him back to health. Feeling better, the man asks […]
