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An elderly man was quite unhappy because he had lost his favorite hat.Instead of buying anew one, he decided he would go to church and swipe one out of thevestibule. When hegot there, an usher intercepted him at the door and took him to a pewwhere he had to sitand listen to the entiresermon on […]
The Reverend Billy Graham tells of a time early in his ministry when he arrived in a small town to preach a sermon. Wanting to mail a letter, he asked a young boy where the post office was. When the boy had told him, Dr. Graham thanked him and said, “If you’ll come to the […]
This fundamentalist Christian couple felt it important to own an equally fundamentally Christian pet. So, they went shopping. At a kennel specializing in this particular breed, they found a dog they liked quite a lot. When they asked the dog to fetch the Bible, he did it in a flash. When they instructed him to […]
A Nun and her friend, Sarah were playing golf. Sarah misses a 3 foot putt and yells, “Goddamn it, missed the bugger!” and the nun says, “If you keep saying that then God will punish you.” Next hole Sarah misses a 2 foot putt and says “Goddamn it, missed the bugger!” and the nun says, […]
As Bill was approaching mid-life, physically he was a mess. Not only was he going bald, but years of office work had given him a large pot belly. The last straw came when he asked a woman co-worker out on a date, and she all but laughed at him. That does it, he decided. I’m […]
The Reverend Francis Norton woke up Sunday morning and realizing it was an exceptionally beautiful and sunny early spring day, decided he just had to play golf. So…. he told the associate pastor that he was feeling sick and convinced him to say Mass for him that day.As soon as the associate pastor left the […]
The Chief Rabbi and the Pope are in a meeting in Rome. The Rabbi notices a fancy shmancy phone on a side table in the Pope’s private chambers. “What’s that phone for?” he asks. “It’s my direct line to the Lord!” the Pope replies.The Rabbi is doubtful, but the Pope insists that he tries it […]
God created the donkey & said to him : ” You will work unceasingly from sunrise to sunset carrying burdens on your back. You will eat grass, you will have no intelligence & you will live 50 years.You will be a donkey. ” The donkey answered: ” I will be a donkey, but to live […]
There’s this cathedral that’s still being worked on, and the workers have rigged a “cage elevator” inside so they can get material up and down to the upper floors. A characteristic of these “cage elevators” is that the doors (gate) must be closed manually for them to be “called” to another floor. One day one […]
The Baptist preacher just finished his sermon for the day and proceeded toward the back of the church for his usual greetings and handshaking as the congregation left the church. After shaking a few adult hands he came upon the seven year old son of one of the Deacons of the church. “Good morning, Jonathan,” […]
Three Reform Rabbis were in a terrible auto wreck. None survived. One minute they were driving along the highway, talking and laughing and joking, and the next, BOOM! they were before the Creator of all. Shaking his head, The Omnipotent One looks at the three. “Reform I can understand. But where will it end? You! […]
Johnny was asked by his mother what he had learned in Sunday School. “Well, mum, our teacher told us how God sent Moses behind enemy lines on a rescue mission to lead the Israelites out of Egypt. “When he got to the Red Sea he had his engineers build a pontoon bridge and all the […]
