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There was an old woman on a plane, sitting next to the Pope. It was stormy outside, and the plane wasbeing rocked by some severe turbulence. So this kindly old lady looked upon Death’s door, and said to her papal neighbour. ‘Father, surely you can do something about this…’To which the Pope replied, ‘Sorry lady, […]
Sister Mary burst into the office of the principal of Our Ladyof Perpetual Motion parochial school in an advanced state ofagitation. “Father!” she cried, “just WAIT until you hear this!”The priest led the sister to a chair, and said, ” Now just calmdown and tell me what has you so excited?” “Well, father” the nunbegan, […]
A few years ago, when the Catholic church reform began to be muchin the news, Mrs. Moskowitz said to Mrs. Finkelstein, “Tell me,Becky, have you heard by chance what’s going on in Rome?””No,” said Mrs Finkelstein. “I haven’t. What’s going on in Rome?””A meeting of high Catholic churchmen has, among other things,decided that the Jews […]
On the steps of this church two pan handlers were doing their dailybusiness. One wore a large cross on his chest and the other – a starof David. Of course, most of the church goers generously gave to thecross wearer and the other was overlooked.Finally the Pastor approached the Jew and suggested that if he […]
Moses, Jesus and an old man are golfing. Moses steps up tothe tee and hits the ball. It goes sailing over the fairway and landsin the water trap. Moses parts the water and chips the ball onto thegreen.Jesus steps up to the tee and hits the ball. It goes sailing over thefairway and lands in […]
An old drunk stumbles into a confessional. After not hearing anythingfor a while thePriest knocked on the wall. The drunk said forget it buddy there’s nopaper in here either.
The Pope dies and, naturally, goes to heaven. He’s met by thereception committee, andafter a whirlwind tour is told that he can enjoy any of the myriadrecreations available.He decides that he wants to read all of the ancient original text ofthe Holy Scriptures, andspends the next eon or so learning the languages. After becoming alinguistic […]
A Jewish lady named Mrs. Rosenberg who many years ago wasstranded late one night at a fashionable resort – one that didnot admit Jews.The desk clerk looked down at his book and said, “Sorry, noroom. The hotel is full.” The Jewish lady said, “But yoursign says that you have vacancies.” The desk clerkstammered and then […]
When the airline Captain announced they were flying over Salt LakeCity, Utah, a womantold the man sitting beside her, “I understand this is the home of theMormon religionwhere husbands believe it’s OK to have more than one wife.” That’strue,” he replied, “asa matter of fact I happen to be a Mormon myself and have nine […]
A very religious man lived right next door to an atheist. While the religious one prayed day in, day out, and was constantly on his knees in communion with his Lord, the atheist never even looked twice at a church.However, the atheist’s life was good, he had a well-paying job and a beautiful wife, and […]
There’s this old priest who got sick of all the people in his parishwho kept confessing to adultery. One Sunday, in the pulpit, he said,”If I hear one more person confess to adultery, I’ll quit!” Well, everyone liked him, so they came up with a code word. Someonewho had committed adultery would say they had […]
An elderly man was quite unhappy because he had lost his favorite hat.Instead of buying anew one, he decided he would go to church and swipe one out of thevestibule. When hegot there, an usher intercepted him at the door and took him to a pewwhere he had to sitand listen to the entiresermon on […]
