Q.Why did the cookie go to the doctor?A. He was feeling crummy!

What’s a fresh vegetable? One that insults a farmer.

Did you hear about the two peanuts walking in the woods?One was “a-salted.”

Q: What did one strawberry say to the other?A:”Look at the jam you’ve gotten us into!”

Q: What do you call a fake noodle?A: An Impasta.

What do you call an egg from outer space?An unidentified flying omelet!

What’s a doll’s favorite food?Barbie-Q!

Q: What do you call cheese that’s not yours?A: Nacho cheese!

WIFE: The 2 things I cook best are meatloaf and apple pie.HUSBAND: Which is this?

WIFE: “You look tired, honey. How about a nice steak, mashed potatoes and an apple pie for dessert?”HUSBAND: “No thanks. I’m too tired. Let’s just eat at home.”