Q.Why did the cookie go to the doctor?A. He was feeling crummy!

What’s a fresh vegetable? One that insults a farmer.

Did you hear about the two peanuts walking in the woods?One was “a-salted.”

Q: What did one strawberry say to the other?A:”Look at the jam you’ve gotten us into!”

Q: What do you call a fake noodle?A: An Impasta.

What do you call an egg from outer space?An unidentified flying omelet!

What’s a doll’s favorite food?Barbie-Q!

Q: What do you call cheese that’s not yours?A: Nacho cheese!

WIFE: “You look tired, honey. How about a nice steak, mashed potatoes and an apple pie for dessert?”HUSBAND: “No thanks. I’m too tired. Let’s just eat at home.”

Q: What what can you make from baked beans and onions?A: Tear gas.

Several women were discussing what they should have for dinner. “If you’re watching your weight,” came one suggestion, “those diet frozen dinners are good.” The man then added: “But get two. They’re small.”

Do you feel like a glass of carrot juice? Why? Do I look like one?